Poetry for the night… Growing Up.

In the past
I was
Someone else.

I don’t know where that person went
That used to be me but
She doesn’t exist anymore.
Not within me.
I used to be depressed
I was in a dark place
I would never see the light anymore,
It was just dark in my life.
Every day I woke up and
Expected it to be bright,
Yet there was only dullness.
In the past I got numb
I stopped feeling because
There was nothing worth feeling it.

I turned incapable of reaching out to others.
Unable to love
Every day would be the same,
It’s dark
I get up, I function
I go to bed, next day.
It hurt.
For a very long time
It hurt.
Then it stopped hurting.
Instead there was
A great nothingness occupying me
I couldn’t shake it off.
I was so used to the pain
I didn’t know how to deal with this numbness
I tried to fight it.
Nothing helped.
I got medication
They made me unable to feel
I couldn’t cry
But the pills also made me
Unable to laugh,
To feel at all
It was as if
I was dead inside.

Now, I am well.
I feel
Life is a great miracle to me and
I love exploring it.
I climb mountains,
Walk country sides and
Travel seas.
The world is my home
Humanity is my family
And feelings are my friends.
I laugh and I cry
Sometimes I fall down,
Sometimes it gets cloudy and
Grey in my life.
Then I stand up, and fight it
I have been sick but
I have overcome this sickness and
I turned out to be stronger
Than ever before.

In the future
I will be
Someone else entirely.


Copyright Text Picture Jasmin Türemis


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